See You On The Other Side

Been a while since I posted anything here. Felt like a hundred years ago already. Haha. To those who still visit this site occasionally, thanks to you.

I’m planning on leaving this site. I’m taking on a new, shorter domain, wits.i.ph, for my personal stuff and vandalbox.com for my less serious posts (such as the ones you see here in this blog). 

Reasons? Well, I really can’t think of any. Time to grow up, I guess. I just think that the less serious me and the more serious me shouldn’t play on the same sandbox. Hence, I’m pressing the reset button.

Nevertheless, I’m still keeping this site for memories sake. I’ll be occasionally reposting stuff from wits.i.ph and vandalbox.com here. Of course I can’t just let this site die. Heck, it’s got my name on it. 

So yeah, I’ll see you guys on the other side.

Awesome Story Made Me Teary Eyed

I was very distracted today. I was being borderline-emo and was contemplating on the fact that I should really do something to make my life better. And I should do it fast. “Better” meaning I should start pursuing stuff that I really want to do and heave my butt away from the crappy daily routine I live for the past x number of years. I was feeling down (and sleepy) hence, I resorted to clicking my bookmarks under the folder “Awesome Blogs” with the idea that reading these genius sites would somehow churn up content that would wake me up from this stupor.

I was lurking around one of my favorite blogs of all time, Dooce.com, and stumbled upon one of her posts that links to another site that talks about some crazy inspirational shit. And when I say inspirational, I’m talking about stuff that would make me want to do crazy stuff just because I’m so inspired and everything feels so right. Just like this one time after watching Jerry Maguire I decided to run naked around… wait. That’s another story.

Anyway, below is the link that I was babbling about a few sentences ago. I just felt I should share this to all of you. It’s not really a feel good story. It’s one of those tear jerkers that would make you want to be a better person. It’s something that would surely prod your brain cells and blood vessels. I apologize if you nerds find this cheesy. But I also have a heart you know.

Link to the post:

A Must Read

Link to the actual story:

The Cab Ride I’ll Never Forget by Kent Nerburn

I Vote for Manny.. err.. Mike Villar!

Mike Villar is my hero. In fact, he’s a hero to all of us. That is why I’m voting for him in the Philippine Blog Awards. 

I remember the time when I was first introduced to Mike’s blog. I was fairly new to the blogsphere and he still stored his genius in a free blog site. Since then, life has never been the same. Reading his entries made me realize that life is short and the best way to go about it is the Mike Villar way. Imagine my awe when I was finally introduced to his awesome presence back in September 2007. It was really an enlightening experience. Save for the fact of course that he was downing Corona’s like it was cheap water. Because really, is there any other way to livin’ la vida loca if not livin’ la vida ala Mikey?

Meet the Zorro of the Internet.

He is the Erap of Philippine Blogging. Notorious for the man that he is and the number of beers he can chug down in one sitting. He can outwit any feeling high and mighty social climbing blogging wannabes and kick them all in the face with his blogging prowess and high pitched voice. His laugh is like Loki’s. His smile can melt women’s hearts and make them abandon their family values. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen it many times already. Mike is the man.

So tell me, why should we all vote for Mike? Simple…

Why not?

The End of the World is Near…

…and is set to happen 30 days from now.

That’s about the time when two atomic particles will collide after being launched at almost light speed early this morning. Not making sense? Well… Read on, noob.

If you are a science geek, a nerdy blogger or just another curious Joe, you’d know that today marks the activation of the Large Hadron Collider. The LHC is the largest particle accelerator ever built. It’s also the largest thing ever built. Basically it was created to solve science’s remaining unsolved mysteries such as the Big Bang Theory, black holes, dark matter, time travel and all that fancy Star Trek hulabaloos. It launches two sub atomic particles from one end to the next, making it run across a 17-mile oval until both particles hit each other really really hard. Sounds familiar? Well, the guys in Hiroshima and Nagasaki surely know what these science talk means. 

Say hello to the Large Hadron Collider. Also known as the Large effing Hadron Collider.

But wait… Did I just say Big Bang? Black Holes? and Time Travel?  Sounds good eh? Well you can wipe that geeky smile of your face because none of these stuff is anything near the word “good”. In fact, you should start worrying as a sheep and grow deformities in your face because none of these science mysteries are funny. 

EDSA corner Buendia Ave. 30 days from now.

Recreating the Big Bang simply isn’t a good idea. Smashing protons really really really really hard a millions times over per second is like trying to act like God, only 999,999 times the effort. According to Cracked.com :

What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Well, first imagine an apocalyptic nuclear holocaust. Multiply that by about one hundred and twenty thousand billion, and then multiply that by around the neighborhood of infinity. That equals around one eighth of the magnitude of the Big Bang.

And these virgin scientists simply wants to recreate one just for kicks. So yes, we are going to get screwed by these scrawny little nerds who have no reservations in destroying Earth and all forms of life in it. And I’m just talking about the recreation of the Big Bang. I also said they build the Large effing Hadron Collider to understand black holes and strange matter.  They couldn’t be serious about strange matter…. Right? Because if they are, then we are really screwed… (more…)

…

I’m pissed. BIGTIME. 

Reading Books Can Make You Awesome

I am lost for words. This is probably one of the best books out there. No, this could probably THE best book of all time.  

I know right.

I don’t only want to read it, I feel the need to own one. A book that teaches awesomness is already awesome in itself. The cover may not actually make sense, but who cares? You’re guaranteed to be awesome by the time you finish reading this masterpiece!  

Lorraine Peterson (the author) is probably related to Chuck Norris. Also, just from the book she wrote, we can deduce that she:

1. Owns a crocodile and a dinosaur as pets.
2. Carries a Desert Eagle wherever she goes.
3. Eats nails and broken glass for breakfast while armwrestling with Hulk Hogan. On a daily basis.  (more…)
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I Haz A Ponder

The past few days has led me to think and ponder on things I never thought I’d dwell into. Inasmuch as I believe that I am an experienced student of life, I have found myself succumbing to daily pressures of my personal problems and more do I realize that these problems are serious and alarming than ever. I find myself dealing with extremely brain wracking issues that, if I had a choice, I’d have solved sans the drama and crap.

Sometimes, I just want to evaporate.

I am perfectly aware that there are problems that has no viable solution whatsoever… it is only meant to be survived. So I guess I’ll just have to weather the storm. Battling it head on would simply result to more damage on my part. Thrashing my arms at this point is simply immature. But at the same time, being passive would blow me away. It is key that I am able to hold my ground. I am calm as the gentle breeze that touches my skin. Goosefrabah. *insert Oriental music here*

On a lighter note, here’s a lolcat from one of my favorite websites of all time.  

more cat pictures

Sigh. I miss my cat. Rest in peace, my friend.

Spanish Basketball Team : Brave or Stupid?

The picture below is the Spanish basketball team before they went to the Beijing Olympics. It was all over the Spanish newspapers and tabloid ads. Racist? Rude? Or simpy being funny? I think these guys are either brave or simply stupid. If you’re going to mock an entire continent, and compete in the biggest international athletic meet in the same continent, with the continent’s enitre population several times bigger than your country’s population, you HAVE TO BE either of the two adjectives.  What do you think?

Our big balls can take your Kung Fu anytime.

Obviously, the Chinese were not happy with this ad. They vowed to make eunuchs out of these Spaniards. These Spaniards better expect meeting Jet Li and his minions and prepare themselves for a world of Kung Fu pain and torture. Yao Ming will make sure of that. 

Are You A Coward or a Hero?

There will come a point to a man’s life when he would say to himself, “I did what I can. I pushed my limits. This is inevitable. There’s absolutely nothing I could have done to deter this from happening.”

Or something crass like “Screw this. I’m done. It’s over. I quit.”

Question: How do we see these men? Are they cowards? Succumbing to the hazards of the game of life?

(more…)

Google Just "Killed" My Site

Yep. The Evil Google Empire really did it. They called my bluff. 

As of today, this site was stripped off its original pagerank… (more…)

PPP Blog Monetization = Google Damnation?

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. And no, it’s not gonna happen. Promise. Please don’t hate me for doing this. This is all in the name of science.

Payperpost.com is probably (if not already) one of the top blog monetization sites out there. Truth be told, I was having second thoughts of even venturing to their site. Urban legends speak of Google damnation and all sorts of Internet myths once you associate yourself with PPP sites. Alright, that was pure exaggeration. But really, I just didn’t think I have any business there. Just like I have no business going to a Venezuelan horse racing site or to a Morrocan folk dance site. I’d rather visit some geeky blog like Techcrunch or view some japanese prank videos in Youtube. (more…)

Warrior Is A Child

Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
I’m strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears

They don’t know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don’t know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Cuz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
(more…)

Age Confusion

27. That’s the magic number.

People think I’m 27 years old. That’s not a bad age if you think about it. But for me, it sucks big time especially since I’m actually 5 years younger. Almost everyone including my co-workers, my gay barber and the manong guard on night shift in our office building think I’m 27 effing years old. I mean, really, do I look THAT “old”???

Must be comforting to know that one day you’ll end up looking like this.

I’m starting to lose respect for myself here guys. C’mon, give me some slack. Calling me “manong” and adding “ho” and “oho” at the end of every sentence isn’t really gonna make myself feel better.

Here are the top 5 reasons why people call me ugly and revolt in disgust whenever they see me. (more…)

Weird Comfort Rooms Around the World

Some people have the creativity to make extraordinary things out of mundane and simple stuff. When one is capable of  transforming a simple act into a celebraganza of an experience, he is hence dubbed as a "genius".

Leonardo Da Vinci was not called a Renaissance Man for nothing. His genius involved a lot of character and personal touch. He wanted to make his work "interactive". Nowadays, there are other Leonardo da Vincis out there. Watch the video and see what I mean.

Found this while googling for "tech news". I have no friggin’ idea how I stumbled into this video. Anyway, I found it hilarious and genius. Some of the concepts weren’t just mean to humor the "user". Some of them are in fact, works of art. Hey, I know they’re funny to look at, but you got to be at least impressed with the amount of effort they placed just to make you smile. Goodtimes. 

Unfair

Yes, we all know the world isn’t fair. But it still hurts every damn time we are reminded of this reality.

Why Philippine Public Transportation Sucks

Public transportation here in the Philippines suck. It sucks so much ass that it doesn’t make any difference between walking 20 kms. under the scorching heat of the sun and the riding some screwed up public means of transportation. Let me elaborate. Here in the Metro, you can either ride:

the MRT - and get yourself mugged, groped and squeezed the living crap out of you during rush hours. (Rush hour = 24/7) While it is said to be "the cheapest and most convenient" means of getting around the Metro, I say it can be the most stressful of all public utility transportation units. It’s always packed with smelly orcs and sweaty fat office boys wearing iPods thinking they’re some techno dude or something. I really hate it when it becomes so packed because I always I find my face squished at some douche’s hairy armpit.

the bus - and be paranoid about getting robbed, raped and be seated beside some old grumpy lady or some smelly douche with hairy armpits. Also, it will take you 2 hours for every 20 kms. It’s that retarded. The "good" news is, they now installed television and DVD sets so passengers will not get bored. The "bad" news is, they only show Jolina and Marvin Agustin movies. (more…)

Chapter 1.2 : Onwards to Laurus

Chapter 1.1 : The Awakening 

    Legend says that those who enter the gates of Laurus will enjoy everlasting happiness and immense wealth. For thousands of years hundreds of people have tried to enter Laurus. Only a handful succeeded. It is said that the people of Laurus protect a secret… And that the secret is the Key. But the road to Laurus is nowhere near easy. It was built on a steep mountain range, with the intent of making it hard for those unwanted visitors. "The Jagged Pass", as it was written in the Tomes of Pluto, "is the only path towards Laurus. While it may seem that there are hundreds of paths that lead to the city, all but the Jagged Pass will fail you to get there." Laurus was said to be built by monks of Ganee-shah.

    The Boy now walks towards the Kingdom of Laurus. It was a normal day. The sun is up, its warmth calmly touching his face. He could hear the distant river and occational splashes of the carps to his east. Even the birds were out and about. He was leaving the hazardous part of the forest. He didn’t want to encounter any troubles today. He decided that today is too good of a day for stressful encounters. 

Chapter 1.3 : The Gypsies from the South

Mario the Tubero : Nintendo’s Finest Playboy

A few weeks ago, my 7 year old sister got her Nintendo DS and was easily caught by the Japanese company’s slew of AWESOME games. Nintendo is cool because its games never gets old. Mario Bros. Pokemon, etc. I grew up with these games and saw the protagonists as real time heroes.

But now that I am "more mature" and capable of seeing more things in a different perspective, I’d like to discuss in this entry my fascination of the character that revolutionized console gaming : Mario, the plumber.

Mario is a plumber by profession. A lousy one at that. As such, he’s supposed to deal wih delta faucets, tubes, pipes and wrenches on a daily basis. But for some reason, he spends most of his time (if not all of his time) running after the most coveted Princess Peach and eating mushrooms to make himself "big". If you think about it, Shigeru Miyamoto (Mario’s creator) really has a twisted sense of humor and I’m sure he knows why as well. (more…)

Email versus Fax = FaxMi

I was browsing my calling card / contacts booklet (how 1992 of me) and I observed that almost every person has a fax number under his / her phone number and mobile number. It seems, that despite the Internet Age, the fax remained resilient and significant in the business world. It’s like a status symbol or something. More than the ability to receive pages of information, it also tells your market and competitors that you can be easily contacted and you provide more avenues of communication. There are times when I am tempted to get a fax line and fax machine myself. Talk about peer pressure. Haha. 

 Truth be told, this whole fax phenomenon really puzzles me to the bone since the email can practically do everything a fax can (and more) and yet, everybody still opted to maintain their fax numbers. Prior to the Internet Age, it was quite understandable why people needed a fax line. I’ve always thought that at the dawn of the Email Age, certain things like fax machines, stamps, mailmen and postal mail would one day cease to exist. But no.. especially here in the country. People are still crazy about fax numbers. Everybody still has to have a fax number. Personally, I find fax machines inconvenient. Sure it looks cool. But it’s bulky and the fact alone that I have to look for a nook to cramp that big contraption is enough reason to discourage me into getting one. The email on the other hand, can be accessed anywhere via any computer, wherever you are in the world, anytime, without worrying about the telephone and electric bill trying to give you the chokeslam in the next month’s utility bills. (more…)

Home TV Shopping Therapy. It Works!

I was watching the Home TV Shopping Channel last night and I noticed how the goods being sold are getting more and more ridiculous over the years. I remember back in the channel’s pilot airings when the only things they sell are within the "bounderies of logic". (veggie cutters, frying pans, excercise machines) Nowadays, it’s like show after show of absurd inventions. Even the 365 variations of kitchen knives are starting to bore me.

Next to JackTV, AXN and Star Movies Chinese, Home TV Shopping is probably one of my favorite TV channels. Seriously. It showcases man’s ingenuity and ability to innovate up to the point of aburdity. Hence, things become more interesting.

My favorite is the showcase of different skin products. Anti-aging lotions, breast augmenting creams, height boosting capsules, hair growth shampoos and acne removing products. All claim that their product is the modern-day Elixir / Sorcerer’s Stone / Holy Grail, Resurgence, etc.

You also got to love the testimonials. Every ad has one. Once cannot help but be amazed when the frail, acne-infested kid becomes Brad Pitt-like after using some Chinese herbal cream. Deep inside, we feel better for that kid. (more…)

Open Letter to the Knee-Faced Plagiarist

My supposed blog vacation will be temporarily halted. I came across Kris’ entry about plagiarism and I could not help but make an entry about it myself. Apparently, somebody was stupid enough to copy some of my posts and pass it off as his/her own. The knee-faced twit was brave enough to do it’s ninja tactics on me. Thanks to the closely knit I.PH community, such acts of tomfoolery and deception was brought to our attention immediately. 

Dear knee-faced plagiarist,

Greetings fag! My name is Wits Suzara. I would like you to know that I know you copied my blog posts and posted them in your blog. Not only did you not ask permission first, but you just had the rotten guts to claim it as your own. I would have been more than willing to allow you if you only asked. But you didn’t. Moreover, you did not only copy from me but also from several responsible and intellectual bloggers as well. You want publicity? Well you’re not going to get it fart. I will not name you or put your link here in my site. No, I’m not going to do you that favor. (more…)

Busy Like a Pollen Jock

If you would kindly look at the date this entry was posted and the date the previous entry was posted, you could fairly deduce only 3 things why it’s been a while since I’ve put anything in this site : 1) I’m extremely busy 2) I’m extremely lazy 3) I’m dead already. Obviously it’s not the third one unless it’s a ghost typing away in this old "Made in China" keyboard. (It’s the one that makes that annoyingly crispy noise everytime you type.) So now it’s down to number 1 and number 2. If you say number 1, then you’re wrong. If you say number 2, then you’re also wrong. Why? Because Spongebob is yellow and I said so. You’re wrong because it’s both. So the answer is 1.5. Reader <– Fail. (more…)

On Summer Heat, The Moses Look and My Offline Drama

Can I just say, aowihaoifhqoehfeuw it’s friggin’ hot in here! People are sweating like Dudot Jaworski, the elevators are jampacked with "odd" smelling individuals and the air has never been so unforgivingly humid. When I saw the mirages in Emerald Ave., I realized that it isn’t just me. (fantasy. i has it.) Last year’s heat was also hell. Those days were harsh. I could imagine the sun laughing as it tries to scorch every living thing on this planet with it’s mighty UV rays. I feel sorry now for my pink school-girl complexion. From a male Japanese doll I now look like Shaquille O Neal. This is not summer. This is hell. It would have been fine if I had the Spartan physique. I’d probably be walkng around with my shirt off.

To add insult to injury, the most unfortunate thing happened today. The air-conditionning unit in our office department just decided to take a vacation and stopped working altogether…2 minutes after I arrived. It was as if all the forces of nature are conspiring against me. There must be some sort of Korean jinx cast on me. Right now, the room’s occupants are surviving off from a decade-old electric fan. I could tell it’s really old just by the wailing sound it makes every time it faces me. Plus it’s blowing me hot, dusty air. I feel acne growing on my face already. Ugh. (more…)

Letter to My Blog

Dear blog, 

It’s been a while since I posted anything to you. Well, it’s not that I haven’t written anything of substance. It’s just that all my drafts are about coffee and my "cafe hopping" adventures. Transforming you into a coffee review site is not the idea here. So I will let them rot some more as drafts until I am able to post some genius stuff. Actually anything that does not talk about coffee.

I was browsing through the previous posts and I realized that you’re losing your original humor. The topics are more serious and are losing its spin of jokes. If I’m going to compare you to your predecessor, the Exile of a Superstar, I’d say it was, for a lack of a better term, more outrageous in terms of cracking jokes. Exile was bolder, crass and childish. It was the prototype. And the readers loved it. You on the other hand, are the actual model. You are supposed to be a level up. Or so you seem to be. But the past couple of weeks are marred with ratings death posts. Preachy and idealistic. Sometimes, it’s even goody-two-shoes for my taste. It actually occured to me that you should revert to discussing retarded stuff. See… even Einstein knows how to be funny while being genius at the same time. (more…)

Delifrance’s Spiked Coffee

I mentioned in one of my posts my personal quest for the ultimate coffee experience. Last night, my journey began… First stop: Delifrance, Podium. I heard a few weeks ago that they are offering a new coffee treat. The product, while not really a novel concept, is still commendable precisely because Delifrance is perhaps the first cafe chain to offer such to its customers at this magnitude. The Spiked Coffee series. Yes, it’s coffee mixed with alcohol.  And I love it.

They offer 5 kinds: the Irish Kiss Baileys, Irish Kiss Baileys Iced, Mayan Passion Kahlua, Mayan Passion Kahlua Iced and Sputnik Vodka Espresso. My favorites: Mayan Passion Kahlua and the Irish Kiss Baileys. Initially I thought it was going to be a milquetoast of a drink. But the first sip demolished the wall of doubt and skepticism. It was genius. The Mayan Passion Kahlua will let you in a joyride of caffeine bliss with buzzy aftershocks. You could vaguely taste the kahlua at first. It’s basically iced coffee with whip cream. But the dash of kahlua and the lemon-sugared rim made the experience unique. You can taste the kahlua before you taste the coffee and a hint of alcohol aftertaste ensues afterwards. If you really want to give yourself a treat after a long day’s work, this is the drink for you. It’s a very relaxing and inviting beverage. (more…)

Why Tennis is Such A Conyo Sport

I was flicking channels last night and I came across the sports channel where two hot female European tennis players were swatting away at each other tennis balls to kingdom come. The curious thing is, every time one scores, the crowd goes into a somewhat moderated applause. More like as if they were forced to clap. The one who gets the point raises arms, racket in one hand, and shouts incoherent syllables. Something King Leonidas would say: "This is Spartaaa!" Weird. No. Actually, I find this fascinating.

Tennis. A sport thousands play and millions enjoy watching. They claim that next to swimming, tennis is the ultimate workout sport. But for some reason I have yet to see it’s appeal. If you ask me about tennis, all I know about it is Maria Sharapova and the big tournament held in Wimbledon. Oh I also know about the twin sisters who won championships several times already. Williams sisters if I’m not mistaken. Tennis is simply too… conyo for me. Maybe it’s just me but I think it gives the impression that not everybody is welcome to play it. That only the rich can play it. Only the elite can afford it. Only the intellectuals can understand it. It seems to me, tennis matches also act as a social event for the elites. Something like golf events. I dunno. If you would look closely at the crowd, most are from the middle-class to upper elite. I prefer sports that are, for lack of a better term, universal. For all. Masa and Elite. And no, Darts is not a masa-elite sport. The darts used in Tondo are different, if you know what I mean.

Unlike basketball (the unofficial national sport of the country) where you only need a ball and a ring (improvised or not), tennis requires a lot of stuff before you can play. Allow me to enumerate. First, you need an intimidating looking racket laced with superior tennis strings that supposedly can burn your opponents hair with every power whack. Second, you need to dress to impress. Your opponent probably owns several condominium towers and several hundred acres of farmland so you have to suit up with the proper tennis shirt so he won’t find out you actually are unemployed, still living with your parents and consider April Boy Regino as your model in life. More than the fact that you have to look good, these specialized tennis shirts are made from superhero costume material (doesn’t fold, doesn’t absorb sweat, etc.) So you see, these tennis guys are really really really special. For the girls, yes, you also have to don those tennis skirts that made Maria Sharapova the tennis goddess that she is, more than the fact that she is a world champion. Third, you have to shell out cash to pay for the facilities : tennis court, showers, lockers, etc.

So you see, being the cheapskate that I am, I would rather stick to playing hide-and-seek and tumbang preso where the most basic materials can be used to play the game. Sigh. If it weren’t for the pretty girls of the game, I wouldn’t even bother writing this article in the first place.  Sheesh.

The Quest for the Ultimate Coffee Experience

HEAVEN : )

I love coffee. Anyone who knows me know how much I’m in love with it. Just like the rest of the other few million coffee drinkers, coffee gives us a sense of joy and peace whenever it’s warm touch and heavenly taste graze our lips, tongue and the rest of our whole system. Words cannot do coffee justice in any attempt to put the experience in paper. It’s like explaining the essence of love. It simply cannot be done. (more…)

I Dare You To Answer These Questions

I was doing my rounds in YouTube, CollegeHumor, GoogleVideo and MetaCafe when I stumbled upon this genius video from Dony Permedi. Probably one of the best videos / animation clips out there in cyberspace. Worthy of an Oscar. It is imperative that you watch the video before you proceed with the rest of the article.  

Now I dare you to answer these questions… (more…)

Copper

I was googling for image results for "happy" when I came across a comic series called Copper. I instantly became a fan. If you like Calvin and Hobbes comics, you’ll surely love this one as well. It’s intelligently made, complete with political, social and philosophical undertones. It’s a work of art and genius. Copper comics is courtesy of Bolt City.

The comic strip below is one of my favorites. Probably will put a smile to those people stuck in the office / school asking themselves what’s the point of all this hulabaloo.

Click here to enlarge image

Click here to enlarge image

P.S. You might be asking why I was googling the word "happy"… Truth be told, I have no idea why I was doing that. Probably because… I am happy. Very very happy. Life is good. Things are looking up. My powers are back. And yes, I know what you are thinking. The answer is yes. : )  (running man dance then summersault sabay peace sign) I find myself smiling at times. The spit seconds of flight. The skipping of heartbeat everytime it happens.. It consumes me. Haha. Ambabaw ko. I blabber nonsense nao. Out.

Ricky "Dave" Martin Goes to Miami

Two nights ago, I got to meet an old friend whom I haven’t seen for five years. The last time we got together was still during our college years. His family was already in the States and his father wanted him to continue his studies abroad. And so he did. We still managed to exchange correspondence every now and then over the years. He came back last week to visit the "motherland" and go to an adventure trip in CDO. Of course, when I got wind of the news, I contacted him so he could treat me for an expensive dinner out since I heard he was earning big bucks in the States already. I know, I’m cheap like that. Haha.

It’s funny how a lot of people change over the years. I could not believe my eyes when I saw him. The old nerdy-geeky-freaky dude who had a severe acne problem back in college was now a metrosexual Ricky Martin look-alike. I mean, five years ago, this guy was wearing oversized polo shirts, cargo shorts and sneakers almost twice his feet size. He was the nerd of all nerds. He would always be found surfing the Net, illegally downloading mp3s and talk nonstop about geek stuff. He’s the type that would waste a weekend away watching Star Trek DVDs. We all thought he would someday be the King of All Geeks. Now he’s like pop star with a laptop. Ugh. He’s also into the real estate industry. Something far from what I expected him to venture into. All our classmates thought he would at least be a writer for one of those sci-fi movies. I could not help but notice the volume of hair gel he had on his head. It could probably supply an entire army of ramp models for some fashion show.

After a long spiel as to how he "transformed" from Bill Gates to Ricky Martin and a few more helpings from the buffet table, he starts talking about his latest interest : Real estate. He says the real estate business in the States is really good. And his success is one of the factors that led him to his so-called transformation. He’s now managing several accounts in Phoenix real estate and Portland real estate. Coming from him, they all sound "big time" to me. He starts talking about low mortgage rates, strategic locations of schools, the great neigborhood and stuff. And how these play a big role in determining the value of land. I had to remind him that I’m his friend and not a client. I wasn’t really interested much in his blabber. But when he said he’s also planning on venturing to Miami real estate and claims that all the hot women are there, he got my attention. Hahaha! He’s still the same old Dave. Good luck to you buddy. Send me some dollars when you can, ok? Ktnxbai.

Political Opinion

I’m pissed. 

The whole Jun Lozada VS Arroyo government is a true testament that this country is going down to the dogs. Dogs with herpes that is. It’s disgusting. Real world drama? I say, real world theatrics and everybody is effing up the script. My opinon? I’m sick and tired of these clowns taking a crap at our country. Nobody is innocent. Even the whistle blowers aren’t innocent. It’s disgusting how people would point fingers as if they themselves were clean and innocent. It’s disgusting how people would take sides just to grab some spotlight. It’s disgusting how people would lie, cheat and manipulate the masses just for the sake of money and power. Politics never made anyone clean. It’s like going through a muck infested tunnel. No matter how clean your shirt is when you go in, you’re going to come out with stains and marks. Plus you’re going to smell like moo poop. The people are tired you of nincompoops bickering around like little children. Let’s move along and  let’s make this country great again. Not into a dung shack you politicians made it to be. If I could kick you all in the face, I would. Seventy times seven times. (more…)

The Anti-Valentines Day Post

I am officially in denial. Tomorrow is NOT Valentines Day. There is no such thing this 2008. I say, screw Valentines! I’m going stag and anti-Valentines this year.  Tomorrow is February 14 and nothing more. In fact, tomorrow is Single’s Awareness Day. (The day when we single people, become fully aware that we are indeed single.) And since you can literally taste my bitterness exuding from your computer screens, allow me to list the things I hate about Valentines.

1. It’s friggin’ overrated. I seldom use the word "overrated". It’s only in occasions like these when I use the adjective. And when I say overrated, I really mean skyrocket overrated. Crickey, it’s even more overrated than Britney Spears and her bald head. Valentines is supposed to be a special day when you take your partner to an expensive dinner, give her lovely overpriced flowers and say lovely mushy poems you probably copied from the Internet anyway.

I say, why wait for Valentines to do these things? Why not do it today or on August 12 or May 7 or whatever date that is forgiving to your budget? Valentines is supposed to be a day when you make your partner fall in love with you all over again right? You don’t have to wait for Valentines to prove your feelings or show how much you love and treasure the other person. If you can, make it a special day everyday! I really don’t understand why couples have to show affection and intimacy all at the same day, same time, everywhere!!!… Don’t you know that you’re making us single people upset and… agadfohoieg45h4oih0fh80w3oqhffhoihaw!!!!!1221!! (more…)

The First Week of February

I’m sleepy.

This week was hectic in terms of task load. I found myself researching, strategizing, thinking, typing, drawing and doing all sorts of verbs related to work from 9AM to 6PM. Hence, less time for blogging stints. (Which is good because I’ve run out of things to blog about.) My afternoon walks are becoming regular. I’d stroll around the Ortigas Center to destress my brain from all those strategizing and whatnot. I’d just walk and walk and walk.

From Emerald to Garnet to Topaz to Opal to ADB Ave to Julia Vargas to Ruby then back to Emerald. Just looking. Observing the majestic buildings, the people, the cars, the streets, the establishments… everything. Just wasting excess energy. It calms me. It’s like window shopping only that there are no windows and I’m not shopping. ‘nlabo. By the time I get back to my work area, I’m all fresh with ideas and the clockwork of my inner brain workings are once again spun to life. (more…)

10 Random Facts About Me

The Virus has tagged me. And I have conceded to his demands. I’m not really a fan of these memes but hey, the dude’s a legend in his own right. Plus, he’s a genius. Hence, I accede. The objective is to list 10 weird / random facts / habits / goals about yourself.

1. My bed is a bunk. More popularly known as a “double deck”. I had my parents buy that for me even though nobody sleeps at the bottom bunk. I just like sleeping on an elevated platform. It’s a dream come true, I tell you. : )

2. I still watch cartoons. Thanks to having two kid sisters who adores Kim Possible, Winnie the Pooh and Sponge Bob Squarepants, I am now adept with the ways of Disney Channel and the philosophies of Nickelodeon. Truth be told, I prefer the good ol’ Road Runner, Yogi Bear and Looney Toons shows. But hey, with those princesses ruling all television sets in the house on weekends, who am I to object?

 
3. I can write and speak French. I studied French for 3 years back in college. But my language skills en francais are far from fluent. I doubt if a French 2^nd grader would even understand my incoherent mumblings of their native tongue. Pardonez-moi.

4. I have to eat at least 6 full meals a day. Yes, most of the time, with rice. But despite my diet, I am able to maintain a “fit” figure. You see, I have this lightning fast metabolism. My body just consumes everything I eat and doesn’t even bother to store unnecessary fat. Lots of people envy me for this. Believe me, it’s not easy as you think. (more…)

A Meaningful Weekend

I rode a fire truck and it was awesome.

This was a very fruitful and meaningful weekend. I went back to my alma mater to attend the annual Kite Flying by the Kythe-Ateneo. Kythe is a student organization that cares for pediatric cancer patients through simple sharing and togetherness. These kids are as young as a few months to 10 years old. Too young to be struggling with such terrible condition.

Kythe members would spend a day or two every week to visit these kids and spend time with them. They would read stories, color pictures, play games, etc. The Kite Flying Day is the opening project of the Kythe Week. It is held annually at the Bellarmine Field. A string of activities and a sumptous merienda were in store for the kids. There was free flowing sago and taho. And eat-all-you-can spaghetti, puto, ice cream, cotton candy and hotdog. There were also several game booths where kids can play and win prizes. Mascots and storytellers did a great job entertaining them. The event was very festive. Plus, I also found out that I really suck in kite flying. LOL! (more…)

Headlines for Today

COMPUTER DEVELOPS CANCER.

The PC in my room has cancer. Hardware cancer. Terminal stage. Its days are limited and I predict that sometime in February it will shut down, never to function again. It’s sad, really. It’s been with me for more than 5 years already. It lived a good life. I need to find a replacement. Sheesh.

BOOKS GOING EXTINCT!

I miss reading a good old fashioned book. Something I could lug around and read a few pages every now and then while enjoying a cup of coffee. It’s been a while since I last did that. Heck, I even read Harry Potter 7 in an e-book. Imagine my headache after every reading session. The last "real" book I read was a history book. More or less 6 months ago. About the politics of the Cold War. Yes, it was geeky, i know.

SHOE-EATING DOG CAUGHT BY LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

I wish my dog would stop chewing on my shoes like it was some sort of a steak or bone. I found out earlier that some of my shoes (especially the leather ones) have bite marks already. When asked why he loves biting the shoes, the dog could only smile. Sinister. Tsk. Tsk. (more…)

Paintball Fun

Last Saturday, we had our monthly company recreation activity in GlobalGutz along Macapagal Ave. just right in front of the World Trade Center. I was very excited about playing paintball again after several months of hiatus and the idea of being able to play real life Counterstrike was bliss. It was the first time for most of my officemates and I know they’d have a great time playing paintball as I did when I first fired my marker a few years ago. Truth be told, I was at first contemplating on the idea whether i would refrain from shooting female officemates or just shoot the crap out of everyone. On the field, I just shot my marker at every opponent I could spot from my hiding place. 

GlobalGutz had two arenas, a speedball type and jungle type (woodsball). Speedball is where man-made bunkers serve as obstacles. The area is similar to a basketball court (or a little bigger). Each team can see each other from their starting positions and can already shoot at each other as soon as the signal to commence firing is given. Game time is shorter as the rate of elimination of players are very fast. The woodsball arena on the other hand is slightly bigger that the speedball arena. Trees and foliage are aplenty and serve great hiding places. There are also several man-made obstacles such as kawayan walls and make-shift houses. Normally, woodsball is set up in bigger land area. The gameplay is more tactical and usually takes longer than speedball games.  (more…)

The New Joker is Dead

Heath Ledger was 28.

Heath Ledger was found dead a few hours ago in an apartment in the posh district of Soho in New York. As of press time, it is believed that he died from drug overdose. Truly, this is a loss to many of his fans and the whole Australian community. He was catapaulted to international stardom in his portrayal of a gay cowboy in the academy award winning movie, Brokeback Mountain. His much awaited portrayal as the Joker the the new Batman Movie. Dark Knight is scheduled to be released sometime this year. 

I remember the time when I had to make a ten page paper on his movie, A Knight’s Tale, for my advanced history class back in college. I had to watch the movie over and over again just to be able to criticize every detail of the plot, setting, costume, etc. So in a sense, I was made into a fan of the guy. But I have to say his role as Skip in the Lords of Dogtown has to be one of his best roles and acting stints ever.

Truth be told, I’d rather have Britney Spears suffer from overdose than have a very celebrated and multi-awarded actor go out like this. Sigh. It is really a loss. I dunno if he has a kid or what. I heard he has one from Michelle Williams. Sigh. But hey, this is life. One day, you’re partying it up like a rockstar and the next day you’re dead. I just hope the Hollywood chismoso and chismosas won’t create stupid rumors about his death. 

This blog post is for you Heath. You will be remembered.

For more news check out:

• CNN : Actor Heath Ledger Dies at 28
• AFP : Heath Ledger Found Dead

Chapter 1.1 : The Awakening

The boy was breathing heavily. His ears twitched as he tried to listen for movement deep in the forest’s vast labyrinth. There was silence. Not even the birds were chirping. Only the sound of his pounding heart rang in his ears. He squinted his eyes, looking hard for the aggressors that have made their presence well felt moments ago. They were gone. Or so his eyes tell him so. He was crouched behind a mighty baobab, which helpfully sheltered him from the onslaught that occurred. His hand crept the ground for the nearest weapon he can find. A shank-like stick lie innocently nearby. (more…)

Sleepy Random Office Post

I'm sleepy. Right now I'm forcing myself to write just to be able to keep my eyelids open. If you could only see me, I'm already half-slouched half-lying down my chair here in the office. The air conditioning is not helping. I'm freezing here. This is a random post. I'm just blabbering here. Nothing intellectual to say. No genius coming out of mouth. You see, I usually talk when I blog. Now, I'm just snorting and grunting. And it's only minutes past 9 AM. Gawd. My back is hurting. Maybe I should shift from my sitting position already. Argh. But I'm too lazy to do that. I couldn't even hold my head up right. I'm too big for this chair. Or this chair is too small for me. Feels like a pencil being cramped inside a matchbox. Or a phonebooth being forced inside a toddler's backpack. It is cold in here. Now I know why Santa Claus is fat. You need to be fat if you want to live in the North Pole. Random. Digress. Brrr….. I fell asleep earlier in one of the sofas in one of the conference rooms. That didn't help. Now I have stiff neck. Brrr…. James just entered the office. He's our technical guy around here. I heard he was sick the past few days. He does look a little pale.

Hmm… Tsk. tsk. my drawers are a mess. Looks like I have to organize them again. Everything is jumbled up. Important documents should be stored separately from my toiletries and office supplies and sports gear. Right now, the second drawer holds my legal government stuff like NBI clearance, bank documents, contracts, BIR stuff and other papers along with my toothbrush, toothpaste, hair cuticle, my office mug, my pingpong racket and a container of toothpicks. Tsk. Tsk. My first drawer is also a mess. All my office supplies are all mixed up with my snacks and notebooks and shades. I don't even want to look what mess is in store for me with the rest of the drawers. Nuninuninu… (more…)

The Bill Gates Retirement Video

THIS IS WHY NERDS RULE. 

http://view.break.com/429420 - Watch more free videos

To all of you who haven't heard of the news yet, Bill Gates announced his retirement by July this year. The Microsoft mogul claimed that it wasn't really a retirement and prefers to call the action a "reprioritization". He said he wanted to focus more on his Gates Foundation to combat world poverty. The clip you will see below is probably one of the coolest and hilariously made videos I've ever seen. Money may not be able to buy you everything, but hey, money can buy you A LOT of things. Genius. Simply genius.

Movie Review: Bee Movie

I was able to watch the Bee Movie last Saturday with my sisters in the ever so glorious cinemas of Eastwood City. Truth be told, I wasn't aware that such movie existed until earlier that day when it was announced at breakfast table. So once again I went inside the movie house with absolutely no idea what I am about to watch or what to expect. I was actually more excited to watching the trailers.

Anyway, i digress. After a few minutes, the trailers concluded and the movie that we came here for opened up its act.  The next thing i know, the movie was over and a goofy smile was plastered on my face. Bee Movie is definitely a B movie. It's definitely a kid's movie. Everything about it is so light. The plot was elementary. The CGI was created for a younger audience. And the script was very easy to understand. It's something you'd watch with the family and the kids. In my case, it's something you'd watch after a week-long of hard work in the coal mines. (more…)

Power Failures, Stinky Elevators and Corporate Dark Ages

Ahh.. Feels good being able to write again in this sacred post editor. The past few days was really hectic in terms of workload. As much as I would like to rant about screwed weather patterns, crappy traffic, turtle-paced elevators and pot-bellied politicians, it's a "luxury" I cannot afford. And to make my excuses for my incompetence in blogging more credible, we had the misfortune of a day-long power failure yesterday in the office. So no sneaking-to-blog-time for me. 

I'm fascinated with power failures. It makes everything look…primitive. And since I work for an Internet company, I really felt it bigtime. The company relies on computers to make everything fully operational. So when this power failure struck like a hooligan yesterday, the company (rather, the employees) really suffered. We had to use of limited resources (only a couple of computers and laptops) and endure the stench and sweat of 50 "stubby" men (and women). It was the latter that really threatened my sanity. The air was too puffy I had to go out once in a while just for the sake of my lungs and brain. Then it struck me. Man has come to a point in history when we have become too dependent on technology. Imagine every computer in this country going haywire. That would be chaos. I mean, does LIFE really have to stop when technology halts itself? Yesterday was corporate dark-ages. Web designers had to use pencils. The finance and accounting peeps had to use abacuses.  The web developers resorted to their imaginations. And we marketing dudes had to base our analysis and decisions on astrology and horoscopes. Yeah man, it was that primitive. (more…)

A Letter To My Wisdom Tooth

Dear Wisdom Tooth,

    I believe we started off with the wrong foot here. When you came into my life a few years ago, you brought nothing but sleepless nights and painful mornings. You made sure my life was a living hell. For days you prohibited me from attending buffets and sumptuous dinners. I remember those days. I remember them like I remember my name. The memories still send shivers and cold sweat. Those were probably the darkest moments of my life. But I never hated you. I knew you were a part of me and hating you would be like hating myself. I forgave you for every excruciating pain you caused me. And I was thankful when your aggression abated. Our relationship improved. Then there was harmony. Or so I thought there was.

    Now, your tantrums are giving me troubles again. I'm beginning to think all this time you were merely playing me for a fool. I'm sorry to feel this way but I think you're nothing but a lying, treacherous, conspiring, spitting, no-good, low-life, pig-headed SOB. When I asked you why, you simply smirked and brought me more pain. I can't even eat Marie biscuits without crying like a girl. Your eyes told me everything. You wanted to kill me. Slowly and painfully. I hate you. (more…)

Erap Wants To Make You Laugh! Hahaha???

I heard from the primetime news last night that ex-president Joseph Estrada will make a comeback in the showbiz industry, but this time, as a comedian. Now this is weird news. The guy became popular as an action star in the 60s, became a national politician in the 80s, viewed as a hero of the masses in the 90s, got elected as president of this country a few years later, went through the whole political drama early this decade, convicted of plunder, and got pardoned late last year by the current president. Now he wants to become a comedian.

What's next Erap? Become an astronaut perhaps? And it keeps getting better: he also wants Ai Ai de las Alas to be his leading lady. This guy never fails to surprise us… Is he effing serious? After all the crap he went through (and all the crap WE went through because of him) he's actually considering going back to showbiz as a clown? Give me an effin' break. (more…)

My Predictions for 2008

I was supposed to write something about how we all seem to always botch up our new year resolutions as early as the third day of January. But I figured I would be writing something academic and analytical and I really did not feel like using my brain early today. So instead, I present to you my Soothsayer Predictions for 2008. Horaay!

This is an annual thing for me. Every start of the year, I would give my share of no-holes barred predictions to various stuff like politics, showbiz, economics, society, religion, etc. Most of the time, they come true. Last year I said that funny-hair-dude Trillanes would do a Round 2 of his coup circus acts. So when he actually did so last November, I just sat back, opened a can of Coke and gave my folks an i-told-you-smile. Anyway, I digress. I just hope somebody would take me seriously this time around. Without further adieu, my predictions for 2008.

The Headlines: 

• Chinese world domination and the location of Santa's workshop
  
• Another fictional character declared gay. Terrorists call it quits.
  
• Rise of mobile web and the fall of Facebook
• Japanese robots and the Britney Spears sex tape
• Read the details here.
  

(more…)

Everything Has A First…

A prosperous and happy new year to us all! May 2008 be one of the best years of our lives. May we all be blessed with happiness, wealth, and peace of mind. Cheers! New years are always good to start good things. This being said…

Welcome to my new blog, Wits version 2.0 : The Invasion. Those who have been frequenting this site are probably perplexed to this sudden development. I feel i owe you an explanation (discussed elsewhere). The gist is, The Exile of a Superstar was a child's handiwork. I think it's about time I move up to grade 1. Hence, an upgrade. And what better time to launch the second installment than the first day of the new year right? I tell you, it is a true statement of win.

So sit back, relax, and let me invade your minds with my ideas and musings. A new chapter has been turned. Lend me your thoughts as i trespass your cerebral walls with genius and win. View life's championships and suckages in my eyes. I will rant and rave until the world can take no more of it. Thank you for your undying support. You are the reason why this site is awesome.