Power Failures, Stinky Elevators and Corporate Dark Ages

Ahh.. Feels good being able to write again in this sacred post editor. The past few days was really hectic in terms of workload. As much as I would like to rant about screwed weather patterns, crappy traffic, turtle-paced elevators and pot-bellied politicians, it's a "luxury" I cannot afford. And to make my excuses for my incompetence in blogging more credible, we had the misfortune of a day-long power failure yesterday in the office. So no sneaking-to-blog-time for me. 

I'm fascinated with power failures. It makes everything look…primitive. And since I work for an Internet company, I really felt it bigtime. The company relies on computers to make everything fully operational. So when this power failure struck like a hooligan yesterday, the company (rather, the employees) really suffered. We had to use of limited resources (only a couple of computers and laptops) and endure the stench and sweat of 50 "stubby" men (and women). It was the latter that really threatened my sanity. The air was too puffy I had to go out once in a while just for the sake of my lungs and brain. Then it struck me. Man has come to a point in history when we have become too dependent on technology. Imagine every computer in this country going haywire. That would be chaos. I mean, does LIFE really have to stop when technology halts itself? Yesterday was corporate dark-ages. Web designers had to use pencils. The finance and accounting peeps had to use abacuses.  The web developers resorted to their imaginations. And we marketing dudes had to base our analysis and decisions on astrology and horoscopes. Yeah man, it was that primitive.

Probably the most hassle part of corporate dark-ages  (i'm patenting this term) was my fear of riding elevators during power fluctuations. The building has a generator to make it's elevators work but my realization above made me a skeptic. Generators are also products of technology right? Hence, it could also screw you. I mean, what if the generators' power suddenly goes out while you're riding an elevator? Then everybody inside is screwed. Then what if one of the guys inside has to pee or do number 2? That would be hell. Hell to him and worse to the people with him. Of course he'd have to fart a couple of times in his herculean effort clenching shut his hahaha to control his bowel movement. That's crazy. Everyone is a suspect. Probably one of the worst things that could happen to anyone is being trapped inside a small cube hanging 200 feet above ground, trapped with middle aged oily-faced men, and somebody had the guts to fart. Suckage at its finest. And if you know it wasn't you, make sure to let go one of your own. That way the guy who sneaked in his toxic fumes also has to endure the stress of having to inhale someone else's gas. Should this happen to you (hope not) the culprit is usually the guy sweating five times more than the rest. Beads of sweat are easily formed around his brow and the hairs in his arms are standing. He's pale and would be the least to commit eye contact with the rest of the group. Crucify the fool afterwards. 

In my case, I had to use the stairs just to make sure. Sucks a lot since our office is located in the 27th floor of the building. By the time I reached our office, I was already sweating like a Mexican. But I wasn't tired. Fatigue is not in my vocabulary. (How macho.) But seriously, lugging my bags full of tiangge stuff wasn't a teletubby thing to happen. In fact, tears of joy streaked down my cheeks when I finally got my destination. It was monumental. I could almost hear a distant choir sustaining a high note to make the finish extra spectacular. 

In the office, the stress is multiplied times 10. No aircon, no computer, and no lighting. I felt so bad I thought Armageddon was at hand. It was like a scene from Independence Day. The atmosphere was somber and everything was slow. Dementors were really sucking our souls. We had to do meetings in the dark and talk in sotto voce. I don't know why we had to talk that way but we did. We ate quietly during lunch. The afternoon was worse. It was hot. I almost evaporated. My brain wasn't in the mood to think anymore. By the time I got home, I was too tired to even play with my pets (I have a 2 dogs and 2 cats) and check my Warbook account. 

Sigh. I'm still tired from yesterday's madness. I want to go home already.