On Summer Heat, The Moses Look and My Offline Drama

Can I just say, aowihaoifhqoehfeuw it’s friggin’ hot in here! People are sweating like Dudot Jaworski, the elevators are jampacked with "odd" smelling individuals and the air has never been so unforgivingly humid. When I saw the mirages in Emerald Ave., I realized that it isn’t just me. (fantasy. i has it.) Last year’s heat was also hell. Those days were harsh. I could imagine the sun laughing as it tries to scorch every living thing on this planet with it’s mighty UV rays. I feel sorry now for my pink school-girl complexion. From a male Japanese doll I now look like Shaquille O Neal. This is not summer. This is hell. It would have been fine if I had the Spartan physique. I’d probably be walkng around with my shirt off.

To add insult to injury, the most unfortunate thing happened today. The air-conditionning unit in our office department just decided to take a vacation and stopped working altogether…2 minutes after I arrived. It was as if all the forces of nature are conspiring against me. There must be some sort of Korean jinx cast on me. Right now, the room’s occupants are surviving off from a decade-old electric fan. I could tell it’s really old just by the wailing sound it makes every time it faces me. Plus it’s blowing me hot, dusty air. I feel acne growing on my face already. Ugh. (more…)

Letter to My Blog

Dear blog, 

It’s been a while since I posted anything to you. Well, it’s not that I haven’t written anything of substance. It’s just that all my drafts are about coffee and my "cafe hopping" adventures. Transforming you into a coffee review site is not the idea here. So I will let them rot some more as drafts until I am able to post some genius stuff. Actually anything that does not talk about coffee.

I was browsing through the previous posts and I realized that you’re losing your original humor. The topics are more serious and are losing its spin of jokes. If I’m going to compare you to your predecessor, the Exile of a Superstar, I’d say it was, for a lack of a better term, more outrageous in terms of cracking jokes. Exile was bolder, crass and childish. It was the prototype. And the readers loved it. You on the other hand, are the actual model. You are supposed to be a level up. Or so you seem to be. But the past couple of weeks are marred with ratings death posts. Preachy and idealistic. Sometimes, it’s even goody-two-shoes for my taste. It actually occured to me that you should revert to discussing retarded stuff. See… even Einstein knows how to be funny while being genius at the same time. (more…)

Delifrance’s Spiked Coffee

I mentioned in one of my posts my personal quest for the ultimate coffee experience. Last night, my journey began… First stop: Delifrance, Podium. I heard a few weeks ago that they are offering a new coffee treat. The product, while not really a novel concept, is still commendable precisely because Delifrance is perhaps the first cafe chain to offer such to its customers at this magnitude. The Spiked Coffee series. Yes, it’s coffee mixed with alcohol.  And I love it.

They offer 5 kinds: the Irish Kiss Baileys, Irish Kiss Baileys Iced, Mayan Passion Kahlua, Mayan Passion Kahlua Iced and Sputnik Vodka Espresso. My favorites: Mayan Passion Kahlua and the Irish Kiss Baileys. Initially I thought it was going to be a milquetoast of a drink. But the first sip demolished the wall of doubt and skepticism. It was genius. The Mayan Passion Kahlua will let you in a joyride of caffeine bliss with buzzy aftershocks. You could vaguely taste the kahlua at first. It’s basically iced coffee with whip cream. But the dash of kahlua and the lemon-sugared rim made the experience unique. You can taste the kahlua before you taste the coffee and a hint of alcohol aftertaste ensues afterwards. If you really want to give yourself a treat after a long day’s work, this is the drink for you. It’s a very relaxing and inviting beverage. (more…)

Why Tennis is Such A Conyo Sport

I was flicking channels last night and I came across the sports channel where two hot female European tennis players were swatting away at each other tennis balls to kingdom come. The curious thing is, every time one scores, the crowd goes into a somewhat moderated applause. More like as if they were forced to clap. The one who gets the point raises arms, racket in one hand, and shouts incoherent syllables. Something King Leonidas would say: "This is Spartaaa!" Weird. No. Actually, I find this fascinating.

Tennis. A sport thousands play and millions enjoy watching. They claim that next to swimming, tennis is the ultimate workout sport. But for some reason I have yet to see it’s appeal. If you ask me about tennis, all I know about it is Maria Sharapova and the big tournament held in Wimbledon. Oh I also know about the twin sisters who won championships several times already. Williams sisters if I’m not mistaken. Tennis is simply too… conyo for me. Maybe it’s just me but I think it gives the impression that not everybody is welcome to play it. That only the rich can play it. Only the elite can afford it. Only the intellectuals can understand it. It seems to me, tennis matches also act as a social event for the elites. Something like golf events. I dunno. If you would look closely at the crowd, most are from the middle-class to upper elite. I prefer sports that are, for lack of a better term, universal. For all. Masa and Elite. And no, Darts is not a masa-elite sport. The darts used in Tondo are different, if you know what I mean.

Unlike basketball (the unofficial national sport of the country) where you only need a ball and a ring (improvised or not), tennis requires a lot of stuff before you can play. Allow me to enumerate. First, you need an intimidating looking racket laced with superior tennis strings that supposedly can burn your opponents hair with every power whack. Second, you need to dress to impress. Your opponent probably owns several condominium towers and several hundred acres of farmland so you have to suit up with the proper tennis shirt so he won’t find out you actually are unemployed, still living with your parents and consider April Boy Regino as your model in life. More than the fact that you have to look good, these specialized tennis shirts are made from superhero costume material (doesn’t fold, doesn’t absorb sweat, etc.) So you see, these tennis guys are really really really special. For the girls, yes, you also have to don those tennis skirts that made Maria Sharapova the tennis goddess that she is, more than the fact that she is a world champion. Third, you have to shell out cash to pay for the facilities : tennis court, showers, lockers, etc.

So you see, being the cheapskate that I am, I would rather stick to playing hide-and-seek and tumbang preso where the most basic materials can be used to play the game. Sigh. If it weren’t for the pretty girls of the game, I wouldn’t even bother writing this article in the first place.  Sheesh.

The Quest for the Ultimate Coffee Experience

HEAVEN : )

I love coffee. Anyone who knows me know how much I’m in love with it. Just like the rest of the other few million coffee drinkers, coffee gives us a sense of joy and peace whenever it’s warm touch and heavenly taste graze our lips, tongue and the rest of our whole system. Words cannot do coffee justice in any attempt to put the experience in paper. It’s like explaining the essence of love. It simply cannot be done. (more…)