The Invasion

Why Tennis is Such A Conyo Sport

March 6, 2008

tennis game 1 I was flicking channels last night and I came across the sports channel where two hot female European tennis players were swatting away at each other tennis balls to kingdom come. The curious thing is, every time one scores, the crowd goes into a somewhat moderated applause. More like as if they were forced to clap. The one who gets the point raises arms, racket in one hand, and shouts incoherent syllables. Something King Leonidas would say: "This is Spartaaa!" Weird. No. Actually, I find this fascinating.

Tennis. A sport thousands play and millions enjoy watching. They claim that next to swimming, tennis is the ultimate workout sport. But for some reason I have yet to see it’s appeal. If you ask me about tennis, all I know about it is Maria Sharapova and the big tournament held in Wimbledon. Oh I also know about the twin sisters who won championships several times already. Williams sisters if I’m not mistaken. Tennis is simply too… conyo for me. Maybe it’s just me but I think it gives the impression that not everybody is welcome to play it. That only the rich can play it. Only the elite can afford it. Only the intellectuals can understand it. It seems to me, tennis matches also act as a social event for the elites. Something like golf events. I dunno. If you would look closely at the crowd, most are from the middle-class to upper elite. I prefer sports that are, for lack of a better term, universal. For all. Masa and Elite. And no, Darts is not a masa-elite sport. The darts used in Tondo are different, if you know what I mean.

Unlike basketball (the unofficial national sport of the country) where you only need a ball and a ring (improvised or not), tennis requires a lot of stuff before you can play. Allow me to enumerate. First, you need an intimidating looking racket laced with superior tennis strings that supposedly can burn your opponents hair with every power whack. Second, you need to dress to impress. Your opponent probably owns several condominium towers and several hundred acres of farmland so you have to suit up with the proper tennis shirt so he won’t find out you actually are unemployed, still living with your parents and consider April Boy Regino as your model in life. More than the fact that you have to look good, these specialized tennis shirts are made from superhero costume material (doesn’t fold, doesn’t absorb sweat, etc.) So you see, these tennis guys are really really really special. For the girls, yes, you also have to don those tennis skirts that made Maria Sharapova the tennis goddess that she is, more than the fact that she is a world champion. Third, you have to shell out cash to pay for the facilities : tennis court, showers, lockers, etc.

So you see, being the cheapskate that I am, I would rather stick to playing hide-and-seek and tumbang preso where the most basic materials can be used to play the game. Sigh. If it weren’t for the pretty girls of the game, I wouldn’t even bother writing this article in the first place.  Sheesh.

 

Posted by witssuzara at 5:14 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

Try going to Rizal Provincial Capitol or Meralco Foundation, you’ll see the not so rich playing tennis there.

I tried to play before only because of Boris Becker, but now I’m content to watch Maria Sharapova and Daniela Hantuchova run after balls and wait for wardrobe malfunctions. Hehehehe.

It looks like a sport for the elite only because, the British invented it. Sort of like Croquette. but really, it is fun and tiring as well. Not comparable to squash, but still a great exercise.

Posted by virus at March 6, 2008, 9:16 pm

The only reason I started playing tennis is because of the hot tennis pros.

And, of course, the fashionable tennis wear (which I can’t afford!).

Posted by Noelle De Guzman at March 7, 2008, 2:11 am

@virus : Hahaha. If you say so sir. I just think the sports lacks the macho factor, if you know what I mean. My opinion lang naman. Croquette? Squash? How conyo. :p I’d stick to basketball and soccer where brains and brawns come to play - sports with physical contact. No blood no foul para mas maganda. The best pag kalaro mga karpintero. Hehehehe

Posted by witssuzara at March 7, 2008, 10:04 am

@Noelle: True. Same reason here, only that I don’t play. And I’d probably suck even if I did. Haha. Yes, those pros look gorgeous. Scary lang some of the girl pros have bigger muscles than I have. Especially that Williams champ. *shudder* Spartan woman.

Hey, watch out for my posts about my coffee adventures ha. :) Will post soon.

Posted by witssuzara at March 7, 2008, 10:13 am

For me the worst part about playing tennis is it deprives you from doing other things, like drawing and piano playing. You’re not allowed to play tennis when you’re doing either. Tennis wrists kasi.

At least you can still draw if you’re a basketball player - Patrick Ewing was a fine arts graduate. You can also play piano, unless you injure your pinky or whatever.

But damn I don’t understand why tennis apparels have to be so expensive. Buying them is like inviting Trillanes to go into your wallet.

Posted by Nightdreamer at March 8, 2008, 5:03 pm

@Kris: They are expensive because the target market of these products is deemed coming from the social class who can afford to pay. A product being specifically designed for tennis use already adds premium to the apparel. Weird.

Posted by witssuzara at March 8, 2008, 11:39 pm

I soooo counldn’t agree more with you wits! But since the term “conyo” doesn’t really do this for me, I’d say tennis is such a “posh” sport. Not for commoners like us;)

And yes, squash and croquette, they’re just so downright posh along with the obnoxious posh british accent, if you know what i mean. I’m just happy I wasn’t born in such a posh environment. I would have suffocated and died after like a millisecond of living there.

Funny though, coz I came home last night only to see that the movie Wimbledon with Kirsten Dunst was on TV. :P

Posted by Shaira at March 25, 2008, 10:43 am

@Shai: hello Shaira. posh.. hahaha! men wouldn’t be caught using that word. i dunno.. for me, it’s kinda.. gay. it’s the spice girls thing. hmm.. how’s Iceland? Still lots of ice? :D

Posted by witssuzara at March 25, 2008, 11:18 am

haha it’s not really that gay. well, basically it depends on our association of the word:D But fine let’s say it’s a snobbish upper-class sport! Haha actually, I shouldn’t really say such things about tennis coz a good friend of mine is a tennis player. But then again, her father works for the UN, thank you very much. :P but anyway…

Iceland’s….fine. I kinda hate it at the moment though coz it’s starting to snow again:( I thought spring was coming for some reason…but then noooo….it’s freezing once again!

Posted by Shaira at March 25, 2008, 10:42 pm

maybe you are so lampa thats why hanggang badminton ka lang !!!its not a rich man’s sport if thats what you are thinking . U really cant appreciate the game if ur not a player so just shut up !!

Posted by george at September 30, 2009, 7:56 pm

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