Mario the Tubero : Nintendo’s Finest Playboy

A few weeks ago, my 7 year old sister got her Nintendo DS and was easily caught by the Japanese company’s slew of AWESOME games. Nintendo is cool because its games never gets old. Mario Bros. Pokemon, etc. I grew up with these games and saw the protagonists as real time heroes.

But now that I am "more mature" and capable of seeing more things in a different perspective, I’d like to discuss in this entry my fascination of the character that revolutionized console gaming : Mario, the plumber.

Mario is a plumber by profession. A lousy one at that. As such, he’s supposed to deal wih delta faucets, tubes, pipes and wrenches on a daily basis. But for some reason, he spends most of his time (if not all of his time) running after the most coveted Princess Peach and eating mushrooms to make himself "big". If you think about it, Shigeru Miyamoto (Mario’s creator) really has a twisted sense of humor and I’m sure he knows why as well.

I have several questions to illustrate my point. What exactly is the nature of the relationship between Mario and Princess Peach? I mean, an Italian plumber and a Toadstool Princess has nothing in common and their proximity and uber familiarity with each other seems rather suspicious. If you know what I mean. What exactly is kind of "tubing service" does this little Italian plumber do for the young princess? Tinkering with the princess’ delta bathroom faucets…tsk. tsk. Also, how come mushrooms have this weird growth effect on him? He grows bigger. And when he eats some glowing flower, he sputters fire! I’m starting to believe that the mushrooms and glowing flowers he finds stashed hidden among blocks are some ancient form of illegal drugs. No wonder he bashes blocks of bricks using his head. The little dude is high on Cloud 9 for crying out loud! 

At any rate, one shouldn’t need plumbers that often to the point of being familiar with them. Unless of course… well… I’m sure all of you are familiar with the "Tubero" signs all over the Metro… and what kind of Tubero services these guys provide. Setting up the "princess’ delta kitchen faucet" shouldn’t be that hard. And I’m sure Mario the Tubero knows his mojo when it comes to these things. Yes, I know, I am talking nonsense. Hahaha.

I shut up nao. I’m sooo gonna get screwed after bashing Japan’s favorite mascot. They’ll probably send over Voltes 5 or some sentai mega robot. May Lastikman help us all.