Age Confusion

27. That’s the magic number.

People think I’m 27 years old. That’s not a bad age if you think about it. But for me, it sucks big time especially since I’m actually 5 years younger. Almost everyone including my co-workers, my gay barber and the manong guard on night shift in our office building think I’m 27 effing years old. I mean, really, do I look THAT “old”???

Must be comforting to know that one day you’ll end up looking like this.

I’m starting to lose respect for myself here guys. C’mon, give me some slack. Calling me “manong” and adding “ho” and “oho” at the end of every sentence isn’t really gonna make myself feel better.

Here are the top 5 reasons why people call me ugly and revolt in disgust whenever they see me.

1. I’m blaming it on work-related stress. Ever since I started working for Company A, I felt myself grow old (literally and figuratively) that fast. Staying long hours in front of the computer, subjected to epic meetings and dealing with client-related crisis on a daily basis, would really turn any Brad Pitt-like person to look like Paquito Diaz’ knee. I look like 35 sewing machines that’s been used nonstop for 8 years. My metaphors amuse me.

2. I used to follow a diet wherein I would eat 6 full meals a day. Unfortunately, my current workload and responsibilities in the office does not leave me enought time to eat and enjoy a meal in between lunch and dinner. And since I have an ultra fast metabolism, limiting myself to 3 meals a day is like giving a piece of chicken leg to a pack of wolves. Now, I look like a bag of bones with a head, arms and feet.

3. The weather is such an ass. It brings me unecessary stress on top of the two reasons mentioned above. The irregular rain-shine pattern is making me crazy. Also, my body is revolting. Now, I’m sick.

4. I lack sleep. Been working on several stuff lately for the biz. Also, Plurk is making me unproductive. while this is entirely my fault, it is still giving me enough stress to destroy a small country somewhere in South America.

5. I forgot to buy my facial “maintenance” stuff. Yes, now I look like a 72 year old stray rabbit with oily face. I look so old I swear Eddie Garcia will look like a teenager if I sit next to him. It would also probably take another 35 sewing machines to patch up my face. FTW.